Minnesota Autism Mom

I don’t prefer to shop at Walmart. So these recent FB postings (from various sources) telling me to boycott Target because they gave some money to a politician…is not going to sway me from my beloved Target.

But that said, I still ended up at Walmart today. I wanted to see if they had fall flowers and any heavily discounted flowers. The answer is no. It was a waste of our time, but it ended up being one of the more interesting trips to the W.

My son was wearing his Autism Speaks Walk shirt from last fall. This young employee was standing in front of the carts and he was clearly reading my son’s shirt and not moving. Something about his inability to notice I was waiting for him to move + reading made me realize immediately what I knew might happen letting my son leave the house in that shirt. It wasn’t a bad thing, it’s just a poster board of “my kid has autism”. Something in his inability to do these 2 things simultaneously or his non-verbal told me immediately not only were we going to discuss my son’s ASD, but that he was going to say he has ASD too. And I was right because under the very loud fans I heard him sort of ask if he has autism. And then realized, I have never discussed my son’s ASD w/ a person w/ ASD. I wasn’t nervous or anything, I just wasn’t sure what to expect. And it ended up being so sweet. Like seriously, tear jerking sweet. This young man was so interested in my son. I know he wanted to tell me everything about himself. I think he wanted to tell me not to worry. He wanted to fill my head w/ advice. He wanted to know my son. He seemed to be watching him to see what he was like at 3. He was looking for answers and he wanted to give some to me too.

He told me about Fraser and going to some sort of social group once a month and being picked on growing up in the south. I have never learned so much about a Walmart employee and never before in such a short time.  He watched my son push around a regular sized cart. It is awkward and funny to me because, very recently, I am not allowed to help. My 3 year old shoves my hands off the cart. It is so very clear. MOM, I can do this, stop helping! But, he really can’t and I have already learned how to direct the cart quickly so he doesn’t get a chance to shove my hands to the side. This is cute because he’s 3. I love that he is growing into his independence.

And that was the thing about this young man at Walmart. I was so proud of him too. I wanted to tell him so, I bet his parents are so proud that he’s working and seems so bright. But, I didn’t because I don’t know him or them, but I just felt they better be if they are not. So I was proud of him, just in case.

He gave my son candy as a trade for the cart. It hardly worked, but I appreciated the young man reminding me to help him find his strengths and that he did a little parenting 101 bride to get the cart from him.

My heart was full as I walked out w/ my little man. I felt so glad this exchange went well. It was so interesting to watch him watch my child. I told him I was happy to meet him and I wished him well. Had we not been at his place of employment, I would have spent more time w/ him. I would have let him really tell me whatever he thought I needed to hear. I hope he knows I appreciated it. I tried to show him that he did not over step any boundaries, as I saw him so carefully planning out his words.

I am curious if you have had this experience too. How did it go? How did the adult or teenager engage your child or you? Was it awkward? Feeling like you might say something offensive, etc? Or was it sweet and appreciated like it was for me today?