Minnesota Autism Mom

I am feeling sort of all emotional right now. I just got a chance to sit down to my personal computer after having some serious time away and here my little blog is featured on FB Autism Speaks fan page. I just can’t believe how many people said my story about going to Walmart made them tear up a little. That’s crazy. I thought I was the only one that was so sensitive to leave Walmart in a teary mode! So, if you are just discovering my little place on the net to mostly bitch – welcome! Please join me! Just don’t bitch about  me to me. I just don’t have the energy for complaints, but in all seriousness I would prefer to be writing to someone. Otherwise…why do I have a blog. So again, thank you.

Which reminds me – thank you random person on FB – I know my template sucks. I will change it the day I learn how. I am just super paranoid of losing my entries now.

I also don’t have time. I mean, really, I don’t. I shouldn’t be writing right now. I should be working on lesson plans and how my “Back to School” night is going to go down. This has been one hell of a week.

And I mean – hell. And then I don’t. Because I am very much liking so much about my new place of employment, but there is a hand full of things that are so different from working in a district (ok, public school) that I didn’t expect. I couldn’t have imagined to ask and now I wouldn’t dream of walking away at this pt, but yikes. Then there was the total disorganization piece. Having to ask for w2′s and keys, etc. On top of being required to attend workshops every second….and then let’s remember I have to leave at 4 because I live an hour away from my job. I have a child that is at his grandma’s and she is not interested in taking care of him until 8 every night. So the luxuries of being a motherless, husbandless woman/days are over. Really over. I didn’t notice the last time I started a new teaching job because I didn’t have these 2 essential humans in my life and I was not a homeowner. Things have changed. Oh, and let me add, most of my co-workers are neither married, have family in this country, friends, let alone a toddler (w/ special needs).

*shoulder shrugs* I was at work until 7:30 yesterday. Yes, that was a Friday night. Then I went a teacher store to pick up room decorations. So I guess I got home at 9. I didn’t even get to see my boy…at all…yesterday. I cried last night. I let it all out on hubby. I needed him to know where I was at mentally. And about 5 mins ago I realized I am probably either PMS’ing or about to next week. SWEET!

So one week until kids return to school. I am far from ready, but if they came tomorrow I could handle it. Staying late did help, but I am in a serious mood of “this kind of sucks to have to work again”. This past year went by so fast, it’s crazy. I played too much Mafia Wars. I suck.

Eh.

One day at a time. I know. I am just saying. This week flew by and I didn’t feel like I got done all that needed to be done. Now I have 4 days to Open House and my to-do list isn’t getting any shorter any faster. So I guess I need to go do something more meaniful than this!

Autism Resource Fair

Saturday, April 10, 2010
9:00 am – 1:00 pm
Buffalo Community Middle School
1300 Hwy 25 N. Buffalo, MN

Jill Kuzma, keynote speaker, is a speech-language pathologist who works with students with Asperger Syndrome, PDD-NOS, “high” functioning autism, and other related Social Thinking needs. She’ll be giving a talk on “Building Social Skills” from 10-11:30am. Free admission, Many booths and resources, Kid friendly activities, Food available for purchase.

Local Girl Scouts (5th/6th grade) will assist with semi-structured games & activities for youth. Parents/Guardians will be expected to remain in the building & responsible for their children. Contact Brandy with questions at 763-682-7941. Sponsored by the Wright County Autism Task Force.

Understanding Guardianship for People with Developmental Disabilities

Tuesday, April 22, 2010
TWO SESSONS: 1:30PM- 4:30PM OR 5:30PM- 8:30PM
SHERBURNE COUNTY GOVERNMENT CENTER
13880 HIGHWAY 10
ELK RIVER, MN 55330

Also included: PROVIDING FOR THEIR FINANCIAL FUTURES THROUGH WILLS AND SPECIAL NEEDS TRUSTS. Pizza will be provided at 5PM for those who register. PLEASE RSVP FOR THIS TRAINING BY CONTACTING MARY BETH BRUFLODT AT (320) 493-1231. Please leave name, phone number, and session attending. You may also email mbruflodt@dungarvin.com

Autism Awareness Day with the MN Twins!

Sunday, June 13, 2010
1:10pm game
Target Field

Twins vs Atlanta Braves. Home plate view tickets $24 value, selling for $18 ($5 handling fee will be charged). Event put on by Twins Baseball, AuSM and RT Autism Awareness Foundation. R.S.V.P. with Todd Krulewich at 612-659-3577 or email ToddKrulewich@twinsbaseball.com

If you are interested in a half day therapy program for your PreK child (with ASD), you may want to go to their open house. I am very impressed with their warmth and facilities, but have never sent my child there for anything. Have you? Would love to hear about your experiences. Open House is on March 15th.

A heavily debate topic in our house is how much fun is it to take a 2.5 year old on vacation? My answer – not much. And with that I made the very hard to decision to not take up an offer to have a mostly paid vacation by my MIL this year to Naples, FL. So now, on Monday AM, my dad will drive hubby to the airport, where he will go visit his mother and step-dad without his wife and son. This weighs heavy on his heart. Making him feel alone and making me sad in return.

We simply do not see eye-to-eye on this topic. My SIL told me about a year ago that they were able to successful travel with a 2 year old. Is that because the 2 year old could talk? Had receptive language skills? Or does it not matter? My son has become very active. When he is happy and proud of himself he hold on to something and hops up and down. We took him to MOA on Sunday and he literally ran the entire time (with the exception of stopping to look at the carnival part and to visit a water fountain or 2). He is so busy right now, I can’t imagine trying to take him a 4 hour car ride or worst yet a 4 hour flight.

So I said no to the trip and now all of the feelings that were so hard to make about to go or not go are being rehashed as the trip is less than a week away. I have heard some pretty horrible stories of taking children with ASD on flights. I wonder, are there good stories? Or do they always end up being a bad decision? When can you take your child with ASD on vacation and it goes pretty well? Or heck, really well?

Last night, we were ALREADY! discussing the idea of him going next year. When he’s 3.5? Will he be talking? Less active? I don’t know. Again, 3.5 isn’t like drastically different from 2.5. Is it still too soon? I know we will have to take a wait-and-see approach to this and every other aspect of our lives, but my gut tells me no. He will be too young or at least developmentally I am concerned he will be too young. And again, yes, I know let’s see where he’s at this fall before really giving this some heavy consideration.

Anyway, a few months ago I found the following holiday trip going advice (for ASD) and thought I would share here. (I can’t give the writer credit because I have no idea where I got it from, but I better go find out now…) Here it is -

Tip: Disney World and many theme parks have special passes or wristbands for families whose children have disabilities, including autism. The passes allow your family entrance at the front of every entry gate, bypassing long lines, which are a huge source of distress. Call in advance and ask for special-guest relations. Trisha Kayden, who recently took her 9-year-old daughter to Disney World, says, “Getting to go first on everything is the only perk to autism!”

“For a young child, a very family-friendly theme park can be an excellent choice,” says Dr. Sandra Harris, executive director of Rutgers University’s Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center. “You can stay in one hotel for the whole trip. They are often very accommodating to families of children who have a disability and tend to be forgiving of tantrums, anxiety and other behaviors that many young children display.” As for loud theme park noises (sensory issues are common to kids with autism), take earplugs or headphones to mute the sound or visit during off-peak weeks, when crowds are smaller.

Tip: From airport security to boredom on the flight, plane travel can be a nightmare. With security, do a practice run. Marcy Mullins called her local airport in Cincinnati and explained that her 6-year-old son Marcel had never flown before. In an airport first, airport personnel allowed Marcy and her son to simulate what would happen when he went through security, step by step. The Columbus airport was similarly accommodating. If you can’t do a practice run, at the very least, alert security about your child’s issues.

Once you’re on the plane, have a plan to pass the time. “On our last excursion to Asia (my husband was there already) with three kids under 8, including one with autism, I prepared like a neurotic woman on steroids,” says Megan Browne. “Packed in each child’s rolling suitcase I had prepared gifts wrapped in tissue paper and had enough for every hour on the plane for each kid. The gift included crayons, a new coloring book, Legos, PlayDough, a new DVD. They looked forward to each hour so they could open a new thing to play.” Also, request bulkhead seats in advance and explain why you need them, and take gum or hard candy, particularly if your child is nonverbal and can’t tell you his ears need popping.

Even with good prep, travel by airplane is just not feasible for some kids. “With the advent of heightened airport security, I can no longer fly with Morgan,” says Pam Homsher. “I can just picture them asking to take her shoes off after she’s waited in line for an hour. She has stellar hand-eye coordination and has killer aim with a Nike.”

Tip: “Be sure your child is wearing identification,” says Dr. Harris. “You can pin it to the back of his shirt or attach it to his shoelaces if he is the kind of child who won’t tolerate wearing it. Include the child’s name and diagnosis and your cell number and anything that a person might need to keep him safe and calm until you are reunited.” Also, carry a recent photo of your child to show police in case your he or she wanders off.

Tip: It sounds simple, but remember to tailor the vacation to your child’s interests. Christine Bakter took her two sons on the autism spectrum to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. “We loaded the trip with special-interest opportunities. Ben is fascinated with lighthouses. Alex with swimming, crocodiles and marine life and peppered in a few things that my husband and I wanted to do.” Then they used all the activities as incentives to get the kids to try new experiences: “First we try this, then we will go to the place you want to go.” Also, remember that more activities are not always better. “Days spent on the go may not be what your child wants,” says Dr. Harris. “To avoid meltdowns, limit the number of things you do each day and plan for plenty of downtime at the hotel.”

With the right planning, vacations can even become your friend. “Travel is the time where we feel most normal,” says Karla Newman. “The more severe of my twins obsesses about vacations and occasionally has a meltdown because we can’t go to China or Israel this week!”

I don’t know if I was being discriminated against or I made this man nervous, either way, the way I was responded to was hard to handle as I walked out of the Children’s Workshop in Plymouth this afternoon. I was nearly in tears and totally pissed. I imagined myself calling headquarters or writing a nasty letter. But, I am in no mood.

Basically he could have said that they simply do not take children on a part-time basis, but he kept stuttering over himself trying to explain it to me. Then he finishes with, “I am not sure what your son’s “label” is, but we have never dealt with that and would not know how to deal with that”. He put label in quotes. I didn’t really get that since I was completely upfront about my son’s diagnosis and what I was looking for in a childcare center. I wish I would have responded in a fashion that showed him that he hurt my feelings. I wish I wouldn’t have been so nice about it all. But, I also didn’t know what to say. I guess he didn’t either since he couldn’t stop talking

Anyway, I am currently waiting for a phone call to tell me if I got a new job and how much it pays. I really hope it’s what I think and works out. I went there this morning to observe. I feel good about it, but they weren’t clear about the purpose of this morning’s meeting so I was feeling sort of confused. I really like when people can be clear and direct. I don’t know why they wanted to call me this afternoon. Are there other candidates? You know, I just don’t know.

On a different note: This is what I am currently reading…

Common questions for an ABA therapist

Teens with autism